My Letter

As I sit here and have had time to reflect on things, some things are still unclear.  Maybe they always will be.  I'm not sure.  After spending your life with someone for two years, someone you want to marry "by the end of the year", the "love of your life" how can you just walk out. No goodbye.  Nothing. Calling them was wrong, but that's it never again wrong?  No.  There's more.  There has to be.  I supported you for two years, always there for you, especially when you were crying.  You can't say the same.  I was bawling.  I was begging.  You felt nothing.  You showed no concern for me at all.  No concern for my kids.  No concern for my well being.  You felt nothing.  How is that possible??? Maybe there is someone else.  Funny how you get some money and you want me out of your life.  What, were you worried I would get some of your money? Or that you may have to pay for something? Or maybe you were worried that you may have to take me on a date? Whatever the reason it's shitty.  No excuse.  After me being there for you that one night and how awful you behaved you couldn't be there for me??  Well I'm sorry.  I'm sorry for whatever I did or didn't do that made you not love me.  I'm sorry you found "someone else to sleep with" like you wanted.  I'm sorry I was never good enough.  I'm sorry all of my efforts were never good enough.  I would have done anything for you!!  And now for what?  To be thrown away?  That really isn't fair.   And I'm sorry for what is going to happen.  If I did nothing right for two years, I did protect you.  More than you will ever know.  You, unfortunately can't say the same.  My health isn't great, and not once did you show concern. But I protected you. Not because I had too but because I love you. You don't love me and I can't protect you anymore.  You won't ever hear from me again, just like you want. You want me gone so much you will get your wish.  I hope you change your ways someday.  I hope you find whatever you are looking for that will make you happy.  This is my goodbye.  This is my closure Maybe I'm not suppose to understand but I know I won't allow another man to put me through this kind of hell again.  Goodbye to you.