Marriage.

I always wanted to be married.  The fairy tale. The happiness. The love.  Always having a best friend. At times I still want that.  But I know I was a bad wife, even though he was my best friend and he was the love of my life (or at least I thought so).   I wasn't enough. I couldn't make my husband happy.  I tried.  It just didn't happen like I planned. We were different. Different likes and wants.   Neither of us were wrong.  But it has ruined me and my views on marriage.  At times I think about getting married again.  But what's the point?  To get a divorce?  In today's time people don't stay together.  They don't work on their relationship, when things get hard they throw it away and move on.  They lie and walk out.  They hurt each other. They build up walls.  They run to other people, other relationships. Then you are left with a divorce and no best friend. You are alone and hurt.  I don't want that.  Not again. 

Mary Kay sample

My freebies from influenster and Mary Kay.  

I received these products complimentary from Influenster for testing purposes. 

Heartbroken

Here I sit heartbroken. Again. Once again this unloveable curse gets me. Maybe I deserve this, the lies, being ignored, feeling pain. Unfortunately for me I'm loving, it's my worst trait.  I don't even know why I bother anymore.  You would think I would have learned my lesson by now.  But apparently I haven't learned so now the tears will flow. 

14!!

In a blink of an eye, my baby is 14!!!  How did that happen!  He had a great birthday, with family and friends.  A pizza and movie party is what he wanted this year.  It was a lot of fun!

Fall Time

I LOVE fall!!!  It's my favorite season.  Decorating for Halloween and fall started over a week ago and I'm still adding to it. 

A little something I made. 

Just a few decorations.  

Lawyer

Hiring a lawyer today, since last week things were filed against me and I just found out.  Funny how you agree to things and get promised things and blam that wasn't the truth.  Got to love a liar!!  

Another little funny thing. The quarter of a mile and no contact was decided at the first court date. With two lawyers and a judge.  And a liar there. But I'm the liar.  I'm a lot of things but a liar isn't one of them!  I'll never be that low to lie. I'm the one that changed everything. I changed nothing tell now. Everything is different. Everything is over.  I don't deal with liars. I didn't do anything.  I stuck to what was agreed in March at court.   

Lies.

The funny thing about lies is, once you are caught lying people doubt everything you say.  And then to keep getting caught in lies just proves that you can't tell the truth. That you say whatever it is you think that person wants to hear.  Broken promises and lies aren't something I can forgive.  Looking back knowing the lies never ended. I kept my end of the bargain; a liar can't.  They don't know how.  I wasn't worth the truth, even once the relationship was over, or when things were going good. The lies continued. The broken promises continued. Things were done that won't ever be forgiven.  It's funny looking back now hearing the excuse that the lies was their way of trying. Usually honest and truth is trying to make something work.  But then again someone has to be important enough to receive the truth. Looking back now I know I did what I could, even though I wasn't worth anything to them, I didn't lie.  I was honest. Truthful.  So keep lying see if I care.  The truth always comes out.  Just don't expect me to stick around and listen to lies.