Compares

If a man compares you to his ex or exes often, comparing you and making you out to be a less of a person than that's a sign you should move on. Nothing good will come from that.  It's a sign that he isn't over that person. You should leave!  It will get worse.  He will end up picking that person. Maybe not today or even tomorrow but at some point. He will pick her.  They always do.  And then someday when your relationship is over he will let you know what your replacement will be like.  He will even compare you to someone he doesn't even have or maybe he does.  So don't break your own heart with him. Save your dignity and don't let it get that far.  Because once it does and all you ever deal with is being compared. Compared where you are the worst person. It will ruin you.  It will destroy you. It will put you in a deep depression.  So leave because it gets to that. Run!!!  Don't be compared.  Especially to someone he still loves.  

My pain.

I don't understand.  Maybe I'm not meant to understand.  Love is a funny thing. People throw the I love you's around like nothing in today's time.  Nothing is special. For me, I love you means I Love You!!  With all of me.  It doesn't come and go. It doesn't depend on my mood.  I love you. The good and the bad. The happy and the sad.  From now till forever.  I love you.  Maybe I love too deeply.  Maybe I am rare or weird.  Probably so.  To me, you defend the one you love.  You protect them. You take care of them.  You don't compare them to anyone, especially an ex.  And especially not repeatedly.  You don't "hate" them.  They are your person.  They are the one you go to. You are open and honest with the one you love.  But in today's time everyone has secrets. Big and small. Daily life crap secrets. Someone can say I love you and make you last on the list.  Seriously??  That's BS in my mind.  Once again I'm odd, I know.  

So now I hurt.  Because I love too deeply.  Because moving on is the hardest thing for me to do.  Because I suck at moving on.  Because I miss that person so much.  Love doesn't end when goodbyes are sad. Or not for me.  Maybe I'll recover. Maybe I won't.  Time will tell.  

Love

The love of your life.  What is that?  Is it even real?  I use to believe in it. Now I'm not so sure.  If you think someone is the love of your life, but you aren't the love of his life; does that really make him the love of your life?  Shouldn't the love of your life also have you as the love of his life?  In my mind that's how it's suppose to be, but unfortunately it usually isn't that way.  Not in today's time.  Do people really have more than one love of their life?  That doesn't seem possible either. Or not to me.  Maybe I'm just not that loveable.   

Hate

"I hate you". When you love someone those are probably the most painful words ever to hear.  To find out that the person you love/ loved doesn't feel the same way about you, that's crushing.  That can destroy your heart and soul.  Hate is such a strong word. It's worse than dislike or even not care for.  Hate- passionate dislike; loathe, despise.  Ouch!  Hearing it once hurts but can be forgiven.  Maybe it slipped out.  But multiple "I hate you"s isn't forgivable.  There's no amount of I'm sorry that can put the pieces of your soul back together.  Even if you hate someone try and put yourself in that person's place before you ruin them.