My pain.

I don't understand.  Maybe I'm not meant to understand.  Love is a funny thing. People throw the I love you's around like nothing in today's time.  Nothing is special. For me, I love you means I Love You!!  With all of me.  It doesn't come and go. It doesn't depend on my mood.  I love you. The good and the bad. The happy and the sad.  From now till forever.  I love you.  Maybe I love too deeply.  Maybe I am rare or weird.  Probably so.  To me, you defend the one you love.  You protect them. You take care of them.  You don't compare them to anyone, especially an ex.  And especially not repeatedly.  You don't "hate" them.  They are your person.  They are the one you go to. You are open and honest with the one you love.  But in today's time everyone has secrets. Big and small. Daily life crap secrets. Someone can say I love you and make you last on the list.  Seriously??  That's BS in my mind.  Once again I'm odd, I know.  

So now I hurt.  Because I love too deeply.  Because moving on is the hardest thing for me to do.  Because I suck at moving on.  Because I miss that person so much.  Love doesn't end when goodbyes are sad. Or not for me.  Maybe I'll recover. Maybe I won't.  Time will tell.