Change

Isn't it funny how things change so quickly... people go from I love you to I hate you in the blink of any eye.  Marriages in end in seconds.  Children are born, and then off on their own and it seems like only weeks went by.  Why is that?

Maybe we as a society is so use to change.  Or maybe we are never happy or satisfied.  Who am I to say?  I have been married twice, and crashed and burned with both.  I have been in love, and I have hated.  And my children are growing at warp speed! 

I, personally do not think a person can go from love to hate so quickly.  Maybe you hate something that they did or said.  But real love is still there.  At times, people are so angry that they think they hate something or even someone when in fact, its the anger. 

I have tried to love someone that I couldn't.  Apparently that was wrong too.  You should never force love.  If it isn't there, it isn't there.  Forever is thrown around to loosely  in today's time.  Men use "forever" to get what they want.  To me, there isn't forever with a man, a spouse or whatever. There is here and now- today.  Tomorrow isn't a guarantee for anyone.  Forcing love isn't something I am interested in either, anymore.  It didn't get me anywhere, except a headache, which I STILL have!  A never ending headache.  But I am strong.  I am smart.  I will not back down and play stupid childish games with anyone.  I know what I need to do, and I will do it.  I am not afraid.  I am not a bad person.  At one point in my life, I was sweet, caring, loving, amazing, and gentle... I will find her!  She is in me somewhere.  Being with the wrong person has brought out bad qualities in me.  It has made me bitter and resentful.  It has made me hate men for a couple of years now.  And swear off men.  I have refused to trust just about everyone, because of a couple of misleading people who don't even know me. 

How can someone love you, when they don't even know you?  How is that possible.  It's like saying you are so wonderful and amazing, and I am in love with you, but what was your name???  Like, what?  Seriously!  Some people think they love someone when in fact they don't.  Some people aren't capable of giving true love.  I have been lucky enough to be able to love.  I know it is in me, and I know someday it will happen again.  Swearing off men will not last forever.  We are humans, we don't want to be alone.  For the most part, we like having a hand to hold, someone to come home to, to kiss goodnight, to share our lives with.  They say there are 3 or 4 people for each of us, it is just a matter of finding those 3 or 4 people.  Maybe it will work, maybe not.  Things change, people change.