One Year

Well it has been a year plus a few days since my hysterectomy.  Let's just say life sucks!  I'm still having some bleeding, which isn't "normal" at all. My pain is awful.  I have a lot of other issues that I won't go into here. Hell, I can't even tell my doctor everything.  A hysterectomy didn't fix me.  If anything it made things worse.  It's like my body is angry and taking it out on me.  Maybe I should of taken my chances with precancerous cells.  What I do know is, something has to change.  I'm too old to still be in this much pain. The last few days I've had to take a pain pill at bedtime to get a little relief so I can sleep. And if you know me a pain pill knows me out!  That's why I can't take one during the day. Plus I hate drugs.  But the misery I'm in is ridiculous.  :( they need to find something for endometriosis and PCOS. I'm so worried about my young daughter.  Everything that I have is heredity.  And I know she will have these problems. It makes me sick thinking about it.  No one deserves this.  I see my doctor in a few weeks, I'm sure I'll hear the same crap all over again...."there's not much else they can do for me".   All I know is a hysterectomy wasn't the answer.  

My Journey (Day Five Post Op)

Today I'm five days out and today sucks! It's Monday so that means taking kids to school, going to Walmart, cleaning, picking up the kids, baby sitting, homework, etc, etc. fun times. Not really. I'm in a lot if pain today. I didn't sleep much at all last night. I feel lost and my emotions are out of control. I would never recommend a hysterectomy. Not that this was really my choice though.

Here are some pictures of bruising. I think I hate my doctor right now.

 

My smallest incision with the least amount of drama.

My worst one.  This one is black and looks awful!

Another one.  Yellowish green.

That is down my leg.  I can't show you the other parts of me that are BLACK!!! 

Belly button, it looks better than last time, but hurts badly.  Some bruising, worst inicion though.

 

Other parts of me are black.  I have never seen a bruise so big or black in my life.  It is awful!  I would think it will be here for a month of more.  I can't see this thing going away anytime soon. 

 

I can't believe what my body looks like.  It makes me cry daily to see it.  And then to know what I have been through makes me cry more.  Crying is the only thing I am good at right now.  Or being mad at the world.  I am good at that too.

Parker Update

Little Man went to the doctor on Tuesday and at that time he was only scooting around; which the doctor said was completely normal and that crawling isn't a must at 9 months.  He could army crawl and scoot.  Even would scoot using his arms to pull him while on his butt.  And Wednesday Parker woke up and decided that he was going to crawl.  And that's what he did!!!  And he didn't decide to just crawl a little, but he crawls everywhere!  He has explored this whole living room and kitchen.  He stays near by me still, but he can get whatever he wants.  He is also cruising now too.  All along the couch, he walks around.  And when he is crawling, he wants to stand so he will stop and place both feet flat on the floor with his butt in the air and try so hard to stand.  He isn't very brave yet, but once he gets braver I think he will stand.  He is so strong!  What a busy week it has been for Parker!

He is also on some fruits.  He kinda likes bananas and apples.  He still doesn't care for blueberry, pears, or peaches.  I still have some more to try with him.  He LOVES yogurt though!!!  He has only had the banana yogurt for now and will eat it all day if I allowed him.  I am going to buy him some different flavors this week.

Parker is now saying mama... a lot!!  Especially when he is upset.  And he knows who mama is.  He will say bubba, dada, and hi.  He also claps, and we are working on waving. 

He is growing so fast!!  He needs to slow down.  I am not ready for him to be a toddler!

Doctor Day

Parker is the toughest baby ever!!! He had to go to the doctor today, so did Michael. Michael got shots and cried. Parker had to do blood work and it took 3 different people sticking him and digging in his veins before someone finally got it... and he never once cried!!! He whined twice and the rest of the time was ok, just watching them! He and Michael are growing well. :)  Parker is "perfect".  He is army crawling, scooting all over, and pulling himself up.  He can say mama now.  He is eating fruits, veggies, cereals, and yogurt.  He drinks from a cup and self feeds.  Before long he will be a toddler!

I also went to the doctor today... mine was just so so.  I hate doctors. All they do is give you bad news.  But that could be from my crappy attitude right now, since family and doctors suck! Even a cupcake didn't cheer me up.