Pain again.

A little over two months ago, I had my seventh surgery.  There was a 75% chance that I would be pain free or at least pain free in that area. Well I fall into the 25%.  The pain is back.  It isn't as bad as it was; I'm still able to walk and lift things, but the last month it has been getting worse.  The endometriosis had spread in sept to other areas, after surgery is when I usually feel the best for 9-24 months.  This time I'm

Actually worried what the future will bring since I'm already hurting again.  I wish my body was "normal" but that isn't ever going to happen.  

Body issues

I'm wondering how much more my body is going to put me through.  Endometriosis, PCOS, bleeding issues- which almost cost me my life more than once, a hysterectomy, my appendix,  and now the removal of an ovary.  Seriously???   What's next? Nevermind I don't want to know.  I already have days where I don't feel like a girl because I don't have a uterus. Part of me is missing.  Not that I enjoyed periods or anything but still. I was use to feeling like a female.  And now let's throw my hormones off. My hormones are already crappy. I'm an emotional wreck sometimes. Making that worse doesn't sound like fun to me.  Six surgeries in 11 years is too much. Maybe there is no fixing this. I don't know what else to do with this body.  Be in too much pain or keep having surgeries.  I'm in a no win. 

One Year

Well it has been a year plus a few days since my hysterectomy.  Let's just say life sucks!  I'm still having some bleeding, which isn't "normal" at all. My pain is awful.  I have a lot of other issues that I won't go into here. Hell, I can't even tell my doctor everything.  A hysterectomy didn't fix me.  If anything it made things worse.  It's like my body is angry and taking it out on me.  Maybe I should of taken my chances with precancerous cells.  What I do know is, something has to change.  I'm too old to still be in this much pain. The last few days I've had to take a pain pill at bedtime to get a little relief so I can sleep. And if you know me a pain pill knows me out!  That's why I can't take one during the day. Plus I hate drugs.  But the misery I'm in is ridiculous.  :( they need to find something for endometriosis and PCOS. I'm so worried about my young daughter.  Everything that I have is heredity.  And I know she will have these problems. It makes me sick thinking about it.  No one deserves this.  I see my doctor in a few weeks, I'm sure I'll hear the same crap all over again...."there's not much else they can do for me".   All I know is a hysterectomy wasn't the answer.