Last surgery

Well I figured since I haven't written on here in a while, I would start back up.  I guess I'll start with my last surgery, since all the rest are on here. Maybe someday I'll look back and be able to laugh about it, but probably not since my body is more like a horror story.  

Anyway, here goes.  Saturday all day I was hurting. I still have pain on the left side from my surgery before this one.  But Saturday April 25th it was on my right side.  Different.  I told myself maybe  I'm ovulating.  I reminded myself that I had just had an ultrasound that Monday before and everything was ok except for a cysts that we were going to watch and recheck in June.   No biggie.  Sunday morning still hurting.  So I took 4 Motrin and a pain pill.  By afternoon, still hurting. More medicine, which is what both my doctors were telling me to take.  By evening, I was barely able to walk so I knew I had to go to the ER.  I got there around 6:30 pm.  I was wondering if I had a kidney stone.  They did a ct scan, and found that I do have a kidney stone but that wasn't what was hurting me.  Blood work.  Started an iv.  Four rounds of pain medicine.  Nothing was helping. They did an ultrasound. I have had millions by this point. But it was taking a long time. So I asked if things were ok?  She asked if she could do the ultrasound another way cause she couldn't see the blood flow too well.  I agreed.  During that it was taking a REALLY long time.  So I asked again if things were ok. She tells me she's just a tech and the doctor will talk to me.  I said that can't be good.  Which I was right.  The doctor comes in and says there is an issue with the right ovary, and he called in the gynecologist to see me.  Definitely thinking at this point things aren't good.  So I made some phone calls to inform family.  The gyno comes in and explains the blood flow to my right ovary isn't getting there and they can't let me leave. At this point I'm throwing up a lot.  Probably 15 times in two hours.  He explained that it may be twisted and they are hoping to do surgery an untwist it and save it.  Worse case, I'll lose the ovary.  I explained that I only have the right left.  He said he would do everything he could but with how long I had been hurting it wasn't promising.  Damn me and my stubbornness!!! They call in everyone and prep the OR.  I had emergency surgery at 11:30 pm.  When I woke up I asked if I had my right ovary and was informed that I didn't.  The crying began than.  The first week was hell.  Emotions everywhere. Crying a lot.  I'm still healing and dealing with emotions and we are trying to balance me.  If that's even possible.  I just hope to feel like myself again. Someday.  I don't feel much like a woman anymore, my female organs have been robbed from me.  Hopefully I will adjust at some point.  I was suppose to keep that ovary till I was mid 40's.  It only lasted alone for seven months.  I'm still in shock.  

If you have been through this, I would love to hear from you.  

Sums It Up

This sums up my Sunday and part of my Monday.  Crazy. And not in a good way. I would be perfectly happy to never see another doctor or hospital ever again.  

Pain again.

A little over two months ago, I had my seventh surgery.  There was a 75% chance that I would be pain free or at least pain free in that area. Well I fall into the 25%.  The pain is back.  It isn't as bad as it was; I'm still able to walk and lift things, but the last month it has been getting worse.  The endometriosis had spread in sept to other areas, after surgery is when I usually feel the best for 9-24 months.  This time I'm

Actually worried what the future will bring since I'm already hurting again.  I wish my body was "normal" but that isn't ever going to happen.  

Body issues

I'm wondering how much more my body is going to put me through.  Endometriosis, PCOS, bleeding issues- which almost cost me my life more than once, a hysterectomy, my appendix,  and now the removal of an ovary.  Seriously???   What's next? Nevermind I don't want to know.  I already have days where I don't feel like a girl because I don't have a uterus. Part of me is missing.  Not that I enjoyed periods or anything but still. I was use to feeling like a female.  And now let's throw my hormones off. My hormones are already crappy. I'm an emotional wreck sometimes. Making that worse doesn't sound like fun to me.  Six surgeries in 11 years is too much. Maybe there is no fixing this. I don't know what else to do with this body.  Be in too much pain or keep having surgeries.  I'm in a no win. 

One Year

Well it has been a year plus a few days since my hysterectomy.  Let's just say life sucks!  I'm still having some bleeding, which isn't "normal" at all. My pain is awful.  I have a lot of other issues that I won't go into here. Hell, I can't even tell my doctor everything.  A hysterectomy didn't fix me.  If anything it made things worse.  It's like my body is angry and taking it out on me.  Maybe I should of taken my chances with precancerous cells.  What I do know is, something has to change.  I'm too old to still be in this much pain. The last few days I've had to take a pain pill at bedtime to get a little relief so I can sleep. And if you know me a pain pill knows me out!  That's why I can't take one during the day. Plus I hate drugs.  But the misery I'm in is ridiculous.  :( they need to find something for endometriosis and PCOS. I'm so worried about my young daughter.  Everything that I have is heredity.  And I know she will have these problems. It makes me sick thinking about it.  No one deserves this.  I see my doctor in a few weeks, I'm sure I'll hear the same crap all over again...."there's not much else they can do for me".   All I know is a hysterectomy wasn't the answer.