It's A Sad Day

My grandmother (my mom's mom) passed away on the 19th in a car wreck. I didn't know she was going to Missouri, she didn't tell me. Her and I have had a hard relationship for the last year, her husband (my step grandfather) passed away last December. My heart breaks for her. I wish things had been better this last year for her and for me. I wish things were different. I am still in shock. Today is her funeral, planning her funeral has been a hard thing to do. I have never had to plana funeral before. And now I am grandparent less. I have two living grandparents left (my dad's mom and my mom's dad) but I have no relationship with either of them and haven't in years. I feel bad for my children, they were close to her and she loved them so much. Someday the pain and sadness will lessen and the good memories will shine through, but today is a sad day. This past week has been so hard.